Nostalgic Nelly

Seriously, there is no one sappier than I.

I was just looking back to my blog posts from a year ago today about being all set and ready to meet "the baby". A year ago today we didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl. We didn't know when he/she would finally be here. Reading the post, I nearly cried. The truth is, I loved being pregnant. Even though I was sick as a dog, and uncomfortable and never slept and gagged at the scent of anything other than bland crackers, I still loved the experience. I changed my shampoo, my deodorant, I took all the candles out of our house. I ate crazy things that I had never liked before, I walked a different route to work so that I didn't have to smell the cigarette smoke outside my building.... and still, I loved watching my stomach get bigger; I loved feeling Marin move and kick.

I have talked a lot about change in the last year. Life has definitely changed since we had Marin. Everything about life has changed. The way I think has changed. Sure, I'm still the same person, but my world is totally new. Today it hit me: It's not new anymore. It has been a year. This is my life. And I have to tell you, to me, it's perfect.

So am I crazy because I miss the anticipation that I remember vividly feeling as I typed my post a year ago? Am I crazy because on the way to Ms. Kathy's this morning I told an infant who can't understand, all about the day she was born? Am I crazy because even given how painful it was (before my friend the epidural) I wish that I was having Marin all over again on Monday?

Maybe. Or maybe that is just a glimpse at how much I love my little Marin Jane; a fraction of how special she is to us. I am sure that every year on her birthday I will be the same way. February 8, 2009 was the greatest day in Jason and my lives. It was the day we became a family. The day we became three. What a journey is has been!