Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Two Months Old!

Marin was eight weeks old on Sunday. She is now smiling up a storm!

Two months old means only one month until I have to go back to work. Ugh. Jason has now committed to taking the train with me the first day. I think mostly to make sure that I actually go. :)

We have found childcare for Marin when I go back to work. We were going to get a nanny, and in the meantime we joined a parenting network and through that found out about an opening at a day care near our home. So, thanks to a family who is relocating to New York, we visited the day care, checked the references, discussed it to death, and decided to enroll Marin. She will be going to a woman's home. She has a staff of 6 all of whom have early childhood experience, she herself has health care experience, and has run daycares for longer than I can imagine. She has raised 3 very polite children (all of whom we met) one of whom is a violinist at the Chicago Youth Orchestra, and comes to play for the children once a week for "music day". She comes with glowing reviews from all of the parents we spoke with; she is clearly loving and enjoys children; she has tons and tons of toys and activities for the children to play with; they take field trips to the park, and the library and the Old Town School of Folk Music; the other children she cares for looked happy and engaged. She wants to know all about Marin's favorite toys, her pets, her friends and playmates..... She's a lovely woman, and it's a good place for Marin to be during the day. But I still hate it. And for the record, the woman's house is a little too unorganized and crazy for my liking. A lot actually. So there; take that!

But Marin will be happy there. I really think she will be. And that is what is important. Now I have just four more weeks to convince myself of this.

To be or not to be a working mother (out of the home) is the hardest decision I have had to make to date. Anyone who has had to make this choice knows the pains exactly. For some, I imagine it is an easy decision. But for others of us, it is seriously difficult. And the kill of it is- there is no right answer. And I may never ever know if I made the right choice. If only I could have it all. If only I could smuggle Marin to work with me in my pocket.

Maybe I'll work on that in the next few weeks just as a back up plan. In the meantime, I'm enjoying my last 30 days of the good life. Of all Marin, all the time... all along getting paid.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hate to break it to you...but now that she's smiling, that kid's starting to look like a bona fide Patterson...tough break... ;)

The Vlachs said...

Congrats, Marin! She's so darling -- definitely has your eyes, Jo! You found a wonderful, warm, educational and enriching place for Marin - she'll thrive there! I wish we had violinists come into our house every Tuesday ;) Yes, it is the TOUGHEST decision in the world. When I was making my choice, it helped me to know that no decision is ever permanent. We all just do what's right for us at the time. You all will adjust beautifully.