Celebration?

Yesterday morning Jason and I were ready to break out the champagne and have mimosas in bed.

Marin slept through the night!

Now if we can only do the same. We were so used to Marin's sleeping schedule including the 2am wake up call, that we all (Norah included) woke up in the middle of the night Saturday night. At about 4:30am I woke up and realized that we had slept to this point without being interrupted. So I very quietly whispered to Jason, "Are you awake?" He said "Yes. Shhh." And then I said, "Do you realize what is happening?" And he said, "Yes. Shhh." And after we made sure that Marin was still breathing, we were too excited by the fact that she was sleeping through the night, to fall back asleep. How is that for irony?

Last night Marin did wake up again at 2am, so we may not have cracked the code yet. But, last night was not a typical night. She was fussy before bedtime and ended up conking out before she normally does. We'll see how it goes in the coming nights. She is so close... I can almost taste the champagne.

Tummy Time

Do you think this counts for the suggested "supervised" tummy time?

Marin's first trip to the Lake!

Sunday afternoon, my Uncle Reed and Aunt Jeanie hosted the entire Martin clan at their home to celebrate my Grandma Martin's 91st birthday. It was great fun and is always a treat to be all together.

Marin is my Grandma and Grandpa Martin's 5th great grandchild, and it was especially entertaining to see the little children's reactions to her. Skylar, my almost 5 year old goddaughter, wanted to give Marin kisses and was comfortable enough with her to about take her to school for show and tell. When I asked Skylar if she remembered when her 2 year old sister, Jada, was that little she said to me, "Oh, I didn't know Jada then." I had to crack up at this.

Avery and Anthony did very well with her too. Anthony and my cousin Amy taught Marin the name of each of her toes, and Avery was very gentle with her. At the end of the day, Jada was saying goodbye to Marin and when all Marin did was sit there and stare back, Jada pulled her mom aside and said, "She won't say bye to me!" We'll have to work on Marin's manners. :)


What fun and laughter children add to any occasion!

Our First Date!

Jason and I had our first date 9 years ago in August. But Friday night we had our first date since Marin has been born. A lot has changed in our dinner conversation in those 9 years, but it was doubly wonderful to be together for a few hours alone without having to worry about being interrupted to tend to Marin.

Friday morning Jason woke me up with news of the surprise date he had been planning. He asked my mom and dad to come and babysit Marin, and they jumped at the opportunity! This might officially be the first surprise that Jason has kept from me, and I was SO excited and grateful! So, I shaved my legs and straightened my hair, and when my body didn't keel over in shock, we hit the town!

Jason and I enjoyed a nice dinner downtown followed by drinks in our neighborhood. We were only gone a few hours, but it was so nice to spend the time together. Marin was a little bit fussy for Grandma and Grandpa, but luckily they didn't seem to mind too much. Something tells me they will still be back. ;)

Thanks very much, Jas, for the lovely evening. And for loving me even though I hadn't shaved my leg in 6 weeks. You're the best.

A note to Marin

I was holding you on my chest today and I couldn't believe how much you are growing and changing already. I can't believe that you grew inside of me for 9 months and that now you are here. How did you fit?! :) You are perfect, Marin. In every way. Your beautiful little mouth and nose and eyes and hands and feet. And fingers and toes and ears.... I love every little part of you.

I am in complete awe that your Daddy and I made you. I am so proud of you. At the doctor the other day you had grown to 9 pounds 9 ounces. I told your daddy that nothing could have made me happier than a good report at the doctor's office. You are growing and eating as you should and you are healthy and happy and that makes me more overjoyed than you may ever know.

Two days ago you smiled (a "real" smile) at me for the first time. I was dressing you in the morning and I was singing you this silly song that I made up one day about putting your right arm in and your left arm in and over your head; 1, 2, 3 and you smiled at me. I about cried. You have the most beautiful smile. I am so glad to know that you are happy, and that perhaps you like me. :)

I am trying very hard to take in every moment of every day with you. Not only because I have to go back to work in 6 weeks, but because I know that these days of you being so tiny and fitting into my arms so perfectly, are fleeting. One day I'll turn around and you'll be leaving for college. Right after you were born they brought you to my chest. You were still purple and gooey. Daddy and I cried over how beautiful you were and how in love with you and each other we were at that second. And in the quiet moments that followed I promised to you out loud to try to be the best mother I can possibly be. I told you that again today when you were curled up on my chest. I know that I might not always be easy to love, and I guarantee we won't always agree. I promise that I'll tell you no more than you want to hear. But I also promise to kiss your knees the first time that you skin them, and eat ice cream with you the first time a boy breaks your heart. I promise not to tug too hard when I comb your hair, and I promise to let you choose your own style when you are in high school (with the exception of mini skirts and tube tops- hopefully those will be out of style by the time you are 13). :)

I can't wait to watch you grow, and I promise that it is okay that you do. I know you won't be my little girl forever. But you will always be my first born. You will always be the little miracle that made me a mother. And I don't want you to ever forget how much I love you. I can't wait to go shopping for your first party dress. I can't wait to watch you take your first steps. I will proudly drive you to college and try to only call you 4 times on the way home. :) I hope you'll take me with you to the mall sometimes when you are in high school. We'll have lunch and tea dates when you are in grade school. One day you'll read your favorite book to me. We'll dance and sing to your favorite songs. I hope you'll tell me when you are in love with a boy and want to marry him. We'll make a whole day out of shopping for your wedding dress.

We have so much to look forward to, Marin. For today, it is you curling your tiny fingers around one of my own. It is your bright wide eyes that look up at me from your bassinet in the morning. It is in the accomplishments of your tummy time- how well you are learning to hold your head up. Tomorrow it will be a little of the same and a few new things too. One day soon you will sleep through the night, and that will be a big celebration! :) I love every little thing you do Marin Jane. Absolutely everything.

I hope you always know how special you are. What a gift you are to Daddy and me. I can't wait to see what mark you will leave on this world. You have already made such an impression on me. Your future is bright and I can't wait to witness it.

I love you a million times over,
Mommy

What's in a Name?

Many people have asked us about Marin's name. We love it. We think it is very feminine and different without being overly trendy. And although it is unusual, we think it has a very classic feel. So where did we come up with it? Here is the breakdown:

Marin: I heard this for the first time on a movie about 5 years ago. I can't remember the movie title, but it was a nondescript easily forgettable chick flick. I just loved the name. I asked Jason if he liked it too and although he admitted he did, he refused to discuss or name our unborn, unconceived children. Fair I guess. :) I never forgot the name, and the minute we found out we were pregnant I asked Jason if we could name her Marin if it was a girl. We also have friends whose youngest daughter's name is Marin. When Lindsey was pregnant with her and they told us that she would be named Marin, I said how much I loved the name as well. Luckily they didn't mind sharing the name. And yes, I asked before she was born. :)

Jane: Marin's middle name is after my mom. My mom is a huge part of our lives and is very special to us. I am very close to her (we talk about three times a day) and Jason has become very close to her as well. I really hope that Marin and I will have a similar relationship as she grows. Jason and I both feel very grateful for this special bond with my mom and to honor her, decided to name Marin after her. Marin and my mom are very bonded already, and we just know that they will go on to have a really beautiful relationship as grandma and granddaughter.

So there you have it. We aren't telling the boy's name that we had picked out, because we are still going to save it if we have a boy someday. (After we have well forgotten about 2am feedings and uncontrollable crying. :)) We struggled a bit with how to spell Marin, but decided in the end to stick with the traditional spelling. It also looks a lot like Martin, my maiden name, so I sorta like that shout out as well. It is pronounced mar (like you are beginning to say Mary) in, as apposed to mar (like the Spanish word for sea) in.

And speaking of Miss Marin Jane, here is a recent picture since that is what everyone cares the most about anyway. :) Happy belated St. Patrick's Day!

One Month Old

Marin was one month old on Sunday. I think this last month goes down in history as the fastest passing month ever. The number of things that have changed in the last month are incredible. Now when I sing in the shower it is usually "Mary had a Little Lamb" (or "Marin has a Big Doggie" to mix it up) to keep Marin from crying while I quickly clean a 5am feeding and the subsequent diaper change off of me. I'm lucky if I get a comb through my hair. The days that the blow dryer comes out from the depths of my drawer are nearly miraculous. Forget makeup all together. Ha. Makeup. That's a good one.

Words like "passie" (short for pacifier) and poop (even though I hate this word) are a totally normal part of Jason and my conversations now. Nothing spices up the romance in a marriage like a conversation about your baby's bowel movements. Once upon a time 4 hours of sleep would have had us walking around yawning and acting like zombies all day. Now if we get 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep we not only consider it a "great night" but Jason runs client meetings without a cup of coffee and I get the laundry done and straighten the house. Today I even made banana bread!

These changes of course are all for the best reasons. And while my eyes haven't closed for the day this early since I was a child myself, there are many, many amazing changes as well. Tiny coos, baby smiles, little fingers gripping one of ours and the echos of "Daddy's home" every night are among them-- the "Daddy's home" proclamation by myself, of course- happy for the help an extra set of hands can lend. I had heard it a million times before I became a mom, and it is perhaps one of the biggest parenting cliches, but it couldn't be more true; becoming a parent changes everything. In the best ways possible.

Marin is changing herself quite a bit too. She is much more alert during the day now, and she makes little noises like she is trying to talk to us. She likes to look at bright lights and out the window, and she likes her little toys that dangle from her activity mat. We read a lot of books during the day, and even though she doesn't know what I am saying, she likes to look at the pictures. And of course, she is still besties with her dog, Norah. And while Norah is a little perplexed about why this thing that cries at 2am hasn't left yet, she is very gentle with her and still very protective of her.

Change is good.

Random Thoughts on motherhood

Lots of random thoughts go through my mind day and night. Since Marin isn't exactly able to respond to me, I decided to share some of the randomness here:

- Who knew that babies only breathe through their noses for the first few months of their lives? Their mouths are purely for eating. Very interesting.

- Who knew that a "social smile" or one that is in response to a familiar voice or sound requires the use of eye muscles and mouth muscles, and for that reason, babies don't have "social" smiles until between 3 to 4 weeks. Any smile before that is only a result of mouth muscles and is basically just random.

- Holding Marin in my arms is the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. Jason and I talk often about how amazing it is that three weeks ago we didn't even know if she was a boy or a girl, and then the second we met her we were just instantly SO in love. I never knew my heart could love so much.

- Thank God for insurance. The doctor's bills and insurance statements just keep pouring in. It is seriously INSANE how much it costs to have a baby. My Grandma Martin saved the bill from my dad's delivery and put it in his baby book. We looked at it recently. To have a baby 60 years ago (and stay in the hospital the required minimum 10 days) cost less than $50. These days its around $20,000. Imagine what it will be in another 60 years. It's funny also that there are so many statements. Every department sends a separate statement. It is ironic that in the day and age where we have the technology to temporarily paralyze a woman so she can have a baby with virtually no pain, we don't have the technology to merge bills across departments and send one grand statement. Perhaps its a little postpartum game just to keep us wondering-- is this finally it? Will there be another bill tomorrow?

- I have to go back to work 2 months from today. I know that is still a long way away, but I also feel like it is going to come way too quickly. I think someone might have to forcefully purge me from my home that day. Seriously, Jason might have to physically put me on the train.

- I realize this is a little cookoo new motherish of me (so when you read this and agree with me, perhaps my admission will count for something) but I am afraid that Marin will think the nanny is her mommy. I mean, seriously, how is she supposed to know the difference? When someone shows up here every day and comforts her when she cries, and takes her to the park, and reads her favorite books-- how is she supposed to know the difference when she is only 3 months old? Seriously. Crazy or not, this thought keeps crawling back into my head and stinging like a thousand bees.

- I am really thankful to everyone at my work who is pitching in while I am gone. Three cheers to you! I know it can't be fun doing the extra work in my absence, but everyone is doing a great job! Thank you!

- Little bitty socks and sleepers are so cute that I almost don't mind washing clothes.

- Marin's little cry (especially when accompanied by the lip quiver) literally breaks my heart.

and on that note......