Made for TV....

This is the stuff they should put on TV so teenagers don't want to get pregnant:

You're up at 1:00 am to go to the bathroom (for the third time) and you can't fall back asleep because you have terrible heartburn, and because the medicine that you were on for nausea (and from which you are trying to currently ween yourself) was part sleeping pills, so now you can't seem to sleep without them. As you lay tossing and turning, so frustrated because you can't sleep yet again your otherwise darling husband turns over and says to you, "What is the deal? Are you trying to keep me up too? Count to 100 or something." You inform him that you have already counted to 4 trillion, and finally decide to get out of bed. It's now 2:00am. Why is he so sweet when he's awake and so cranky when he's asleep? You hear yourself think this. You remember you acted similarly to him a week ago. You feel guilty for thinking he was anything but perfect. You check a little work email; only get more frustrated. You turn that off. You walk out to your balcony. It's a nice night. You wonder what 8 people are doing at the sub shop across the street at 2am on a Tuesday (Wednesday?). As you turn to go back inside, the darkened now guest room, soon nursery catches your eye and you realize this is only the beginning of your sleepless nights. Then you get mad at yourself for not being able to sleep when you are supposed to be taking advantage of the availability of sleep. You listen to the person upstairs walking around. What are they doing up? Are they always up at this time? It's now 2:30am. Do they always walk so loudly? Perhaps I should go say hi? What am I thinking about? I don't even know their name. You look around. House is pretty clean. I wonder if anything is on tv? Will that just keep me awake more? Maybe I'll paint my toenails. Nah, knowing me I'd finally fall asleep right before they were totally dry and ruin them and my couch. You wonder what your mom would say to do? She would say to say some Hail Mary's until you fell asleep. You've tired that but the "hour of our death" part always gives you nightmares. I'll probably get tired right at 6am when it's time to get up.

What now?

Yes friends, this is my pathetic life.