Tuesday, August 24, 2010

A reflection on our family?

I can remember clearly my mom saying to me as I headed out the door (particularly in high school), "Johanna, what you do and the way you behave is a reflection on our family." I didn't ever really understand why. Until now.

Marin and I went to our friends Kelly and Ryan's today to meet Ryan's new baby brother, Matthew. Marin and Ryan have known each other since they were just weeks old, and since Kelly and I saw each other frequently when we were both on maternity leave together, so did Marin and Ryan. However, now that they are both 18 months old, they don't seem to be showing the love of two people who have known each other their whole lives. To the right here, are Marin and Ryan as babies; just weeks old.

Today there was a whole lot of "mines" and pushing and stealing of toys. I know that it is age appropriate- Ryan is a darling, sweet little boy, and Marin is actually getting very good with sharing- but let's just hope that, as Marin screams "MINE" and then throws a feet stomping fit until I divert her attention with something she can play with until it is her turn, no stranger thinks that behavior is a reflection on our family.

Here's another thought: What is it about learning to share that is so hard? I guess I'm glad that Marin is assertive. And she really does bring children, Ryan included today, toys to play with as well. But boy it is a mother's embarrassed apologetic nightmare in the meantime.

Today was still a great day and we all had fun. Baby Matthew is a tiny, wrinkly, adorable little guy with the innocence of the three week old that he is. Kelly and I still manged to get through a few adult conversations- even if they were interrupted by managing toddlers expectations and growing lessons on who's turn it is to ride/ push the tractor. I always love seeing dear friends like Kelly. There is something refreshing about friendships that sustain too many late night pizzas in college and comes to playdates in the living room surrounded by children's singing toys. I think it likely that we will survive this toddler phase together as well.

Thank you Kelly, for the fun morning. We'll try it again, and eventually they'll be old enough for us to sit with our coffee at the table and have them run around us playing nicely. I promise.

In the meantime, if Marin is truly going to grow to be a reflection on our family, I better work overtime on making sure she minds her p's and q's. For now, I guess I'll just embrace this age and take it for what it is. And hey, at least as she tried to rip the toy out of his hand she said please. That's gotta count for something. (Please tell me it does.)

1 comment:

Elizabeth Chilson said...

The "mines" are just a hard stage. Drew's in it too. The worst one is that the bathtub has become a "mine" and so Ollie isn't allowed to take his bath first... we often use it as a threat. If you don't get in the bathtub right now, then Ollie's getting in. He doesn't like that at all. I think we just have to enjoy the moments...even the annoying ones :)