From the mouths of a parent...

On a recent airplane trip with Jason, Marin and Lindsay, I handed Marin her pacifier as we were about to land and said very matter-of-factly, "Marin, suck on this on the way down."

Lindsay cracked up. I hadn't even realized how that may have sounded to someone not paying attention to me handing Marin the pacifier. Goodness knows how it may have sounded to someone who has never flown with a child. I was intending to avoid having her ears pop from the pressure of the decent, not shooting the opening scene of a porno.

But it got me thinking... There are a lot of crazy things that we say as a part of our daily lives that otherwise sound totally ridiculous. Many are of the "that's what she said" variety, some are just plain odd. Here are some of those very things, as actually spoken in our house.

"You may eat that after you use the potty!"
"Don't put your hand in there."
"On your bottom, Marin."
"No, no; don't touch. That's Daddy's."
"Keep your hands out of the toilet."
"Sweetheart, we don't eat garbage."
"Ride the horsey like a lady!" "Now how does the cowboy ride?!"
"Grab the ball. You may each have one."
"Can you say, 'ba-na-na'?"
"Open wide"
"Doesn't it feel good to be clean and dry?"
"Looks like you have a couple poking through" (regarding teeth)
"Does that make your bottom feel better"
"Not so much in your mouth at once, honey."

No one said that parenting is glamorous, but it sure is funny!

What are somethings that you've said in your house that have made you think twice?