I have to preface this post with the disclaimer that Jason is of course a wonderful father and darling husband. Just today, I heard that Colbie Caillat song, "Falling for you" while I was driving to work and I sang along at the top of my lungs because it makes me happy thinking back to exactly what it felt like when I met Jason for the first time ten years ago. And watching Jason with Marin is truly one of my very greatest joys in life. They have their own jokes and games that I just can't seem to duplicate. Theirs is a love affair in the purest of daddy/daughter forms.
That being said.... When I turned to page 500ish of "What to Expect the First Year" yesterday, and came home to discuss what I had read with Jason, as is often my pattern, I thought aloud.... "You know, you could read these books too." This is only one of multiple books that I have read or consulted, on top of everything I read when I was pregnant with Marin. Not to mention the fact that I had to turn my body over to carry her for 40 weeks and exclusively feeding her around the clock for seven months after that. Granted, I did all of that willingly. But shouldn't Jason have to worry maybe just once about what to do about discipline or sleep schedules or what to feed her next? I'll tell you why he doesn't. Because I read the books and the articles and then come home with a verbal book report. Man, he has quite the life.
So as I was lightheartedly relaying these points to him last night (and pointing out the fact that they make a "Daddy section" so he really only had to commit to a maybe 100 pages versus the thousands that I have read and deliberated over) he said to me, "I want you to find me one dad that reads those books."
And so I will. Yes ladies, I am asking you to turn your husbands in to me. I know they are out there. I know some of your husbands read those books, or at least chapters in those books. Hand 'em over. I'm going to (gently) rub my darling husbands face in it. :) Come on- Rob? Craig? I bet they read them. Better yet- has any ones husband even tossed and turned at night and when you asked them what was bothering them answered, "I just can't help but wonder if Junior is adjusting at daycare as he/she should" or whatever it might be; you fill in the blank.
Of course I realize there is the slight chance that Jason is right; that no dad has read those books. In that case, I am going to have to go home tonight with my tail pulled very tightly between my legs and offer to do the dishes for a week as penance for my pride.
Let the comments come in. Please.
Let's bring the daddy back! 2010 is the year of the dad! What should you feed her? Do what I did- look it up. Can't figure out how to manage five different tasks while standing on your head, AND clean up afterwards? Welcome to my world, dad. It's your year!
15 comments:
While pregnant I read three sleep books, what to expect, girlfriends guide, breast feeding books... In addition, I subscribed to several websites. Ryan told me he was read a chapter of one sleep book. Never happened.
Now I'm into the baby whisperer for toddlers. Sorry to not be a huge help. So far I don't know of a single husband doing research.
AMEN sister. I made Craig read Dr. Ferber's Sleep book after a very similar conversation that we had regarding why moms are the ones to worry, research, develop game plans & technical strategies, create spreadsheets of sleep and eating patterns etc. He lasted one night, maybe ten pages. I will say though, men do seem to be the voice of reason when it comes to womens' innate ability to "over-think" (a.k.a obsess) over the small stuff. Maybe we could start a book club for our husbands? ;)
well my hubby is a different type of breed, he read them with our first(What to excerpt when your expecting and What to expect the first Yr.)...mostly we read them together!
he also uses the internet as a reference tool, as I do
I don't read the instructions on how to put most things together, including the billions of Marin's toys she got this year for Christmas. Why would I read instructions on how to put her together also?
All that stuff works and looks good. As will Marin ;)
Oh, Erica, appreciate the admittance that women obsess. And I'm all for a book club with Craig. We all know we won't be talking about books ;)
Love the comments! LOVE the book club idea, Erica. Totally pegged Ryan and Craig as book readers. At least we had ONE dad who read the books, Jennifer. All Jason said I had to find was one. So there you have it. HA! :)
I am also going to guess that sweet Mike Chilson reads those books. Elizabeth, are you reading?
mine also does housework, bath the kids, cooks, grocery shops, laundry, cleans throw up, changes diapers...etc. see I told you another breed:)
Glad you found that ONE.....there is not other man more deserving than him(my Jason)..well IN MY EYES!!
Looks like Jennifer's husband get's first place in the Husband contest. I'll gladly share second place with all the others...... ;)
Hi this is Craig...I have to comment on the situation at hand. Jason is a great father and an inspiration to all men that don't use instructions. I have never read a book, but I do admit to referencing the internet. I had the opportunity to spend two days alone with Kai ALONE. He was totally mismatched in terms of outfits, but happy as a clam. Men are a different breed. We are not very smart...we can barely acknowledge each other's existense somedays...and you want us to read???
Haha! Awesome post, Jo!! I finally started a bookcase dedicated to nothing other than all the parenting books we moms pour over. Rob would say he's not talking, but here's how it goes down in our house...
Rob will read a magazine article I rip out for him (but then waiting for him to read it kills me!! -- I think he'll read it the second I hand it to him, and he usually uses it as a bookmark for a few days/weeks first...) :) So hard not to nag. Once I told him in my "no monkey business voice" that we need to be on the same page about disciple. I give him credit -- he eagerly read a book cover to cover called Love and Logic: Birth through Age 6. Mostly I just hand Rob a scotch and talk his ear off about something I've just read or am totally obsessing about (I'm usually worked up because I've read three different sources that all say something different, and he says "Honey, it's all going to work out." How annoying is that?!?! ;) Sometimes we have little state-of-the-union meetings on how to handle the newest phase and he takes notes, which I think is really cute. Rob says we need the instruction I get from books, but that he goes from his gut and that works well too. Even though it's hard to admit... sometimes he's absolutely right.
Sorry for the LONGEST MOST ANNOYING comment post ever :)
I bought a book for Jay when I found out I was pregnant with Jack. Cant even remember the name of it but it was specifically for Dads. BIG MISTAKE. I did not know this when I bought it but the book focused mainly on the financial needs of a child from birth through age 20 or something. Gave Jay many nightmares....I never made him pick up a baby book again:). Good luck!
This will probably come as no shock - Bob won't touch the books... not even the tiny daddy sections. He, like Jason, only gleans the little tidbits I read to him, or summarize...I feel your pain. :)
Unfortunatly, Jo, I cannot save you here....Mike won't read the books - only listens to what I have to say about the subject and then decides to do his own thing. But, Drew is healthy and happy. With number 2 on the way, I'm less concerned. I might also add I wished I had read all the "sleeping" books prior to Drew arriving because once they're here, it's extremely difficult to find time to read when all you want to do is sleep.
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