Diary of a Crazed Mother...

We are always busy, but lately we have been crazy.

1. We sold our house. (packing, living out of boxes, dealing with movers)
2. We're buying a new house. (after we lost two others and I mourned the loss like they were children, Jason told me I was acting like a high school girl who refuses to believe her boyfriend broke up with her. To which I responded, "It's a good thing you didn't know me in high school.")
3. We're renovating that house. (kitchen designers, siding quotes, meetings with strange floor guys)
4. We're living with my parents. (until phase one of project renovation is complete- or they can't stand us anymore; whichever comes first)

All of this on top of daily life with two busy jobs, a 6 month old teething baby, and a big 'ol (very loving) disruptive dog...

At the beginning of the summer I offered to host two bridal showers for two dear friends of mine. I decided to throw them on the same weekend because I thought it would work for Jason to watch the baby, and I thought having my house in order for 48 hours wouldn't be too bad. Then we sold our house. And Jason accepted an invitation to go to his friends bachelor party out of town. But no problem... all of our stuff would be in boxes, but I could schedule the movers to come after the party, so we'd still have a table to sit at, and I could surely find someone to watch Marin for me during the day. The parties must go on. I love a party. I love to plan a party. I love to throw a party. I love to host a party. The parties will go on.

I'll spare you the suspense, and just tell you that the parties did go on this past weekend. It's what happened in the meantime where the crazy sets in. Read and learn.


Friday afternoon:
To do:

• take early train home to pick up Marin.
• plan party menus
• go to grocery
• gather supplies
• buy flowers for showers
• buy gifts for showers
• visit Erica and new baby Kai
• start Marin on peas

Okay, busy night, but no time to panic.

-arrive home from work on the 5:00 train. It's a gorgeous Friday; the weekend is ahead. I'm in a great mood.

-arrive at my parent's house. Dog has eaten my mom's fresh baked cupcakes and broken her cake plate.

- apologize profusely to my mom. cake plate cannot be replaced. Thank God that she is understanding. no point in scolding dog now, who is circling at my feet. walk dog. feed dog.

- pick up Marin from daycare. she has a cough. Daycare is concerned. She didn't nap well today. Set up for her to go to doctor on Tuesday with new doctor. Transfer paperwork from old doctor. Send insurance information.

- feed Marin milk. don't have any peas. will buy some tonight and make them tomorrow. feed baby rice cereal while planning menu for shower.

- give Marin bath. get her ready for bed.

- parents offer to put Marin to bed so I can run errands. No time to visit Erica. Call her. Will come next week.

- Go to Williams Sonoma. Buy shower gift number one. Go to Crate and Barrel, it's closed.

- Go to Grocery.

- 10:00pm: home from running all errands. Start to prep food. Have forgotten two ingredients. Will go in the morning.

- Since house is totally packed, have to borrow platters and plates and silverwear and cups from my mom. Gather those, wrap them all up, pack them. Set everything out to be packed in the car tomorrow morning.

- crash dead tired at midnight.

- check on Marin.

-12:45am- can't sleep without Jason.

Saturday:
To do:

• throw Emilie's shower
• go to Crate and Barrel
• hang with Emilie tonight
• Start Marin on Peas

6:30am- wake up, shower, quickly pack overnight bags for me and Marin.

-Marin's up. Happy as a clam despite an explosive diaper exposing its content up her back, down her leg, all over her pj's and sheets.

-Bonus bath for Marin. Rip sheets off her bed. Throw in the wash.

- Dress Marin. Feed Marin. Walk dog. Feed Dog.

- Pack Car. Leave house 23 minutes later than planned.

-Pick up items that forgot at the grocery last night. Run like mad woman through the store with baby carrier.

- Head to the city with the rest of the world either going to the Air & Water Show or the Cubs Game. Curse the traffic.

- Hear on the radio that two million people are at the Air & Water Show. Perfect day to be on the highway. Consider befriending family to my left pulling their 30 foot boat.

-Running late. Call Lindsay. Will drop Marin off in a half hour. Drop Marin off. Shower begins an hour. Back into a pole in my blind spot.

-Check to be sure pole was not a child. Whew. No time to survey damage. Clock ticking. Haven't even begun to do list for today.

- Race to my house. Cubs fans everywhere. People crossing the street in packs of 25 when they don't have a walk.

- Feel sense of relief that I prepared my house for guests ahead of time, and that our house cleaner has been there. Everything will be ready. Just need to set the table and make the food. It is possible I can be ready in an hour.

- Get to my house. Back bumper smashed in. Bullocks! Take two trips loading everything upstairs only to find that house cleaner thought that we were only coming back to move out. Has used my guest towels to wash the windows, unplugged all lamps, put dog toys on the mantel, garbage cans on the counter. House definitely not ready for a shower.

- Put away all of the above. Call house cleaner and yell. Set table.

- Jason calls to check in. He's on his second brewery tour of the day. Momentarily dislike him greatly. Make unnecessary comment.

- Call house cleaner to apologize for yelling. Realize he had no way of knowing that I was throwing two showers in two consecutive days in a house that is otherwise completely empty. After all, who in their right mind would do such a thing?

- Call Jason to apologize for being snippy. I love him again.

- Make food.

-Shower starts in one minute. Appetizer out. Wine opener is missing. Emilie knocks. Borrow her opener. And a guest towel. [Emilie is my neighbor]

- First party guest arrives. I'm still a little frantic. She extends her hand to introduce herself; I hug her.

- Party guest says she had trouble getting in. Remember that our phone is disconnected since we moved, so the main intercom number won't work. Get alternate intercom number, make sign, put it downstairs. Wonder why I am always making unnecessary displays of affection toward strangers when nervous.

-More party guests arrive. Offer them something to drink. Take presents to present table. Serve appetizers. All of the girls are fun. Party is fun.

- Time for lunch. Finish last minute prep. Serve lunch. Forget to toast the bride.

- Toast the bride mid lunch. Better late than never. Maybe I'll set a new trend.

- Conversation is great. Like Emilie's friends. Am thankful for Emilie's friendship. Get overwhelmingly sad to move.

- Open presents. Pretty things.

-Party over. Was a success. Load dishwasher. Quick clean. Go pick up Marin.

- Thank God for Lindsay the whole way there.

- Marin is happy as a clam. Had a great day with her Aunt Lindsay. Thank Lindsay profusely. Tell her we'll be back tomorrow. Thank God for Lindsay the whole way home.

- Go to Crate & Barrel. Buy shower gift for tomorrow.

-Come home. Feed Marin. Change Marin. Play with Marin on the floor. Laugh hysterically at how she has learned to scoot herself using her freakishly long toes that she inherited from me. Love that she has inherited something from me, even if they are my ugly toes. Love her overwhelmingly. Marvel at how big she is getting.

- Feed Marin. Change Marin. Forgot peas. Nothing to cook and puree them with anyway. Will start those tomorrow.

- Emilie over. Go to crazy Dominicks next door for ice cream and wine. Both necessary for a girls night. Realize Marin has never been in this crazy Dominicks. Will tell her about it someday. Check out. Seriously, it's the craziest Dominicks on earth and tonight is no exception.

- Put Marin to bed amid a maze of boxes. It is the last time she'll sleep in this room. I love this room. I'll miss this room. Glad we have pictures. Reminisce about the weekend Jason painted it when I was pregnant. Cry.

- Say Marin's prayers, thank God for our family. Thank God for our friends.

- Emilie over. Order pizza. Drink wine. Read trashy magazines. Giggle. Stuff our faces.

-My eyes are heavy. Admit to Emilie that I'm exhausted. She is too. After she helps me move boxes so I have a path to my bed, we call it a night at 11:30pm.

-Call Jason. Miss him like crazy.

- Check on Marin. She's an angel.

- Lie in bed. Miss my dog. Realize Emilie and I forgot to eat our ice cream.

- Text my mom to see if she is still awake. She doesn't respond.

- Fall asleep immediately.

Sunday:

To Do:

• finish packing a few odds and ends
• Throw Joey's shower
• Visit with my father-in-law
• Feed Marin peas

6:30am- wake up. Shower. Realize I have no towel. Dry off with dish towel that I wrapped a platter in.

- Marin up. Feed her. Change her. Sing songs with her.

-Marin goes down for a nap. Pack a few boxes. Set table. Make food. Thank God for more time to get ready today. Get excited to see all of my friends at today's shower.

- Wake Marin up from her nap. Feed her. Change her. Drive her to Aunt Lindsay's. Thank God for Aunt Lindsay the whole way there. Tell Marin how lucky she is to have Aunt Lindsay.

- Mika calls. She's on her way. Hope that I get back in time. Race home. Manage not to back into a pole this time.

-Arrive home. Mika arrives 3 minutes later. Mika brought dessert (darling cupcakes) and party favors (huge cookies with homemade tags that say "Joey and Jeff, Love is Sweet") and take home containers in Joey's wedding colors. Thank Mika for doing this. She couldn't get any cuter.

-Sarah and Hannah arrive. They also brought food. A lot of it. Delicious food. Best food at the party. Thank them profusely. Thank God for good friends that cook.

- Joey and Allison arrive! The party can begin! Get drinks for everyone. Take presents to the present table. Set out appetizers.

-Michelle arrives. Kelly's late. Stuck in blasted Air & Water Show traffic. Serve lunch after Kelly arrives. Food is delicious. Best Friends Ever. Company is perfect. Get recipes for delicious feast. Love my friends. Get very excited for Joey's wedding.

- Clear table; set mess aside.

- Open presents. Darling things.

- Serve dessert. Sarah's crisp is to die for. Split a second cupcake with Hannah. Will regret this later.

- Laugh until we cry during dessert reliving old college stories. Love my friends. Can't imagine life without them.

- Clear plates from dessert. Pack leftovers. Party over. Party was a success. Miss my friends the second they are gone.

- Load dishwasher. Wash plates. Clean up house. Take table apart. Pack bags to go back home.

- Realize I forgot to give Joey the record of her gifts. Tuck in a safe place to stick in the mail in the morning. Realize I never sent away for Marin's medical records. Make mental note to do that in the morning too.

- Call Lindsay. Her dad is still there. Hope I don't miss him. Will pack the car and head over.

- Realize the dishwasher is not done. Load what I can and leave so I don't miss my father-in-law.

-Arrive at Lindsay's. Have just missed my father-in-law. Gather Marin. Thank Lindsay profusely for offering her whole weekend to take care of Marin. Wish that I had thought to bring Lindsay a present to thank her. Curse myself for being so thoughtless. Think Marin has grown in a matter of hours. Kiss her little cheeks a million times.

- Go back to our condo. Dishwasher has just ended. Plates are steaming hot. Never mind this. Empty dishwasher. Wrap contents and pack away carefully. Pack a cart to carry everything down to the car with the baby. House feels very empty.

- Knock on Emilie's door. She's gone. Text her. Use my spare key to return the items I've borrowed for the showers and leave them a plate of leftovers. Am sad to miss her. Will see her on Tuesday.

- Take one last walk through my house. Pack a few other random things to take back to my parents house. Realize this is the last time I'll be here with the baby. Tell Marin aloud about her first home. Tell her how many memories I have of her here. Daddy and I read the pregnancy test right here. Seems like only a blink of an eye and we were bringing her home. It was a good house. She smiles at me. She has no clue what I'm saying, but she likes when I talk to her. I cry.

- Call Jason. He's taking the train home. I can't wait to see him.

- Hit the road. Traffic. BAD traffic. Everyone leaving the city for the weekend at the same time. Stupid traffic. Marin starts to cry. She's hungry.

- Realize I'm not going to make it home in time to get Jason at the train station. Call my parents. They are taking my grandparents back to their house. My dad says he'll pick Jason up for me. Thank God for accommodating family. What would we do without them?

- One hour into the trip. Am just outside the city. Marin really screaming. Can't imagine having to pull over. Am SO tired. Mix bottle in traffic, feed her with one hand reached in the backseat. Think I am supermother. Never consider it is terribly dangerous.

-Finally arrive home. So tired. Brag to Jason how I fed baby with one hand from the front seat. He points out how dangerous that was and asks me very seriously to never do this again. Feel like horrible mother.

-Empty car. Jason can't believe all the stuff I have. Put it all away. Jason offers to help, but I say he can spend time with the baby. I know that he is dying to. My heart over flows as I watch them play together. He is the best daddy. How did I get so lucky? My mom helps me unpack and put away all the stuff. As she does she asks about my weekend. I have the best mom on the planet.

- It's late. Past Marin's bedtime. Feed her. Change her. No time for peas. Will do it tomorrow. Get her ready for bed. Am thankful to be "home". Take note of the incredible mess upstairs. We have stuff spilling out of everywhere. Get anxious. Commit to doing this on Tuesday.

-Give Marin bath. As she is undressing for bath she sits up for the first time for more than 30 seconds. Run to grab camera. Take 75 pictures. She's naked in all of them. Try to cover her but still show her legs so you can tell she's sitting on her own. Bathe her. Jason puts Marin to bed. I change out of my dress. Crash in front of Mad Men. Great show. Check on Marin. I sleep very soundly with Jason home.

Monday:

To Do:

• Work in Skokie
• Mail Joey's list and Medical Release form
• Run meeting for new reading specialists
• Call all Fall leads for unfilled groups
• Feed Marin Peas

6:30am- Wake up. Shower. Get ready for work. Pack pump. Take out dog. Feed dog. Search for envelopes. Search for stamps. Steal my moms. Write check for medical release. Double check addresses.

-Marin up. Change her. Feed her. Kiss her. Hug her. Take in her smiles.

- Computer dead. Find plug. All of our stuff is such a mess. No time. Computer too dead to boot up. Take it downstairs try it there. Marin in one arm, computer in other, Dog at my feet. No wireless service downstairs. Lug everything and everyone back upstairs. Will buy air port tonight. Computer won't turn on. Panic that it has crashed.

- Try to figure out how to get to Skokie from Geneva. Mapquest directions seem crazy. Decide to wing it. Take out dog.

-Drop Marin off at daycare. Why do I have to work. Hate having to leave her. She kicks her legs and is excited to go. Maybe job not so bad after all.

- Stop at post office to mail letters. Am late. Take my first call on the road. Miss my exit. Backtrack. Arrive in Skokie later than I'd like, 2 hours later.

- Frantically get ready for meeting. Boss calls. I messed up a report. Have mini meltdown to my friend at work. Gather myself. Finish getting ready for the meeting.

- Return 15 voicemails. Stupid Job. Think about Marin. Call Jason. Pump.

- Run meeting. Love my job. Happy students. Pump.

-Return voicemails and emails. Leave to go get Marin. Realize there is no Southbound exit on the road I'm on. Go a half hour out of my way. Call my mom. She will pick up Marin from daycare.

- Get home. Exhausted. Feed Marin. Take out dog. Feed Dog. Pick Jason up at train. Train's delayed. Come home. Tell him to call me when he gets closer.

- Jason's home. Computer has not crashed. Will buy hard drive just in case. Finally make Marin peas. Feed her the peas. She loves them. Take pictures. Am crazy about her. Peas everywhere. Give Marin bath.

- Feed Marin, Get Marin ready for bed. Say her prayers. Thank God for making us a family. Put her to bed.

- Go to Best Buy to buy backup hard drive and air port. Beg Jason for a treat. He says no. Say please, he gives in. Yay. Go to Target to try to find BPA free food storage jars. They don't have them. Walmart doesn't either. Walmart is depressing. Vow to never go again.

- Come home. Eat dinner. My parents go to bed and Jason and I decide to stay up late like we are young again. I fall asleep on his chest with the dog at our side. Wake up at midnight. Go upstairs.

- Jason and I go in to check on Marin. Jason yells, "turn on the light! turn on the light!" Marin is covered head to toe in peas. She has throw them ALL up. They are all over her. Crusted in her nose, and in her hair and ears. She is sound asleep. We wake her up. She needs to have a bath. Strip her down. Peas are everywhere. Strip her bedding. Peas on her dolly. Put her in the bath, she smiles back at us. She thinks it's playtime. Jason is way more willing to deal with this than I am. I tell him he's in charge of getting her back to sleep. Am a horrible mother for thinking about sleep when she is covered in pea puke. Change her clothes. Jason puts her back to bed. Should I call the doctor? She goes right to sleep. I worry. Is she allergic to peas? Did I not puree them enough? Get out ALL the books. Read them all. Get online. Google "vomitting infants" and make myself worried sick over what I find. Is she dehydrated? How can I tell if she is dehydrated. Jason convises me that she is fine. She is sound asleep again. Never cried, is happy as a clam. I reluctantly go to bed with both our doors open. And sit up at every single peep I hear.

1am- turn lights out. Can't sleep. Keep picturing Marin getting sick all alone all over herself. Can't believe we didn't hear her. Decide to use the monitor beginning tomorrow. What kind of mother doesn't use the monitor?! How did we not hear her?! What if she had been on her back and would have drown in her own throw up?! Sick with worry. Cry to Jason. Finally fall asleep on his chest while he rubs my back.

Tuesday shows that life comes back. It is my work from home day, and Jason is golfing this afternoon so we all enjoy a quiet walk with Marin and the dog in the morning. I organize our lives a little better in the afternoon, get some work done, and only have two frantic calls from work. Marin's doctor's appointment reveals that she is just fine. Lesson learned to puree the peas a little better next time. But I decide to let her have a day off of peas. Who likes peas anyway? Tuesday night it is back to the city one final time. Movers come in the morning. Jason and I go alone. After a stop to get the elevator key and a stop to pick up something from a freiend, we arrive at our condo a little after 10pm. Pack until 1am. Emilie helps. Can't believe it's our last night here. Jason and I reminice about our first night there- on an air mattress with Norah. Marin wasn't even a thought. How life changes...

Life is crazy. But it comes back. And it is good.

Realize if we weren't busy we would be bored. Decide I'd do it all over again. But for now, I'll sleep.