So many people ask me, "How is it with three?" Here's my take: It's really just the same as life with two, only doubled. More diapers, less sleep, less time to get things done, more running around. With two, you're doing these things already, so three is just bringing another along for the ride. And that's just what John does. He's along for the ride.
And with his crazy sisters, totally insane mama and our crazy schedules, the "along for the ride" attitude is going to serve him well. Poor guy has no other choice. When Marin was born we took leisurely stroller walks through the park. We read books for hours. Literally hours. We perused neighborhood book stores and shops. When Emilie was born there was some of that, but a little less. But now, to peruse a book store means that I have a four year old and a two year old in tow, on top of the i-could-start-screaming-and-demand-to-eat/blow-out-my-outfit-any-minute newborn. The "big kids" are likely pulling on me asking to buy something, one or both will inevitably have to use the potty, and they're both probably running in circles singing pre-school songs. I'll spell it out for you- that's not peaceful. But it's not to say we don't do it. We do it plenty. It's just with a lot of talks in the car first about being respectful in public places, the old "this is not a jungle gym" talk, and let's just be real: there's also bribery. I am not above bribery. If you are, and you have a toddler, you are either Jesus or stupid. Sorry if that's harsh.
I was at a mother's group recently and we were listening to a speaker. It was a mom who had been there and survived. Her children are now all in their late 20's. She stated out asking who in the room had a toddler. When we raised our hands, she joked that everyone else in the room should pray for us. She said that the only difference between a toddler and a teenage is height and weight. In both cases, she said, you find yourself asking your child, "what were you thinking?!" Moving on to the next parenting challenge, she asked who had a child at home who was potty training. I found myself raising my hand again. Finally she asked who in the room had an infant that they were likely up in the middle of the night with, worrying about every little milestone and was likely breastfeeding. Raised my hand again. I'm like a circus act. A lot of balls in the air, a lot to juggle. But it was good to see that my hand wasn't the only one that went up all those times.
Sometimes I feel badly for John. He only knows me to be crazy. I am certain he thinks I yell too much. Marin didn't see me yell for almost 3 years. And by then, Emilie was already 6 months old. Poor John probably has partial hearing loss from hearing me scream at his sisters even while he was in the womb. Yeah, I gotta work on that. I always start out calm, and then by the third time I have to ask you to put your shoes on, I go a little wacky. John only knows a crazy run around schedule. Maybe after both of his sisters are in school full time we'll sit down and read books for hours, but it's not likely to happen before then. However, just when I start to feel badly for John's because of the circumstances of being the third child, I catch him smiling at his sisters who are crowded around him singing their favorite songs, or telling him, "You're so cute, JohnJohn!". And I know he's going to be alright. A good friend once told me that a sibling is the greatest gift you can ever give your kids. And it's so true. They are enamored with each other. But the real truth is that even with all the craziness (and, unfortunately the yelling), when my kids are all together in the same space it brings me incredible, inexplicable happiness. It's too bad we can't bottle it. Seeing my children together enjoying each other is literally the greatest joy of my life. Because one day, I won't be here, and all they'll have is each other. And they can sit together, drinking beers and talk about how they all drove mom crazy.
