Penis Paranoia

Here's the thing about a boy: They have a penis.

This is something that this mom of previously all girls was quite frankly terrified of until about a month ago.  I swear in John's chart at the doctor is states, "Mom has penis paranoia" because for the first few months of his life I asked a LOT of questions about it.  "Will I hurt it?" "How do I clean it?"  "Does it hurt when I clean it?"  "Am I touching it too much?" And while the doctor replied "no" to all of my fears about touching and cleaning it without hurting or fondling, I still made a promise aloud to never tell his tween/teen/adult self how up close and personal I am with his baby junk.

Marin is starting to connect the dots about the penis, too.  Hmm.  John has that.  Emilie and I have this.  Now whenever Marin's pants gather below the waist when she sits, she worries that people are going to think she is a boy.  Turns out that she has a little penis paranoia too.  There is a pun I could write here involving the nut not falling too far from the bush.  But this isn't that kind of blog.

And you know that thing shoots straight up.  I will pretend that I haven't had urine sprayed on my face and in my hair at just about the first diaper change and on.  You don't leave your men alone out there, if you know what I mean.  They need coverage or they'll shoot and someones gonna get hit.  And that someone is your mama.  I don't have a peepee teepee.  I admit that they are adorable and the concept is marketing genius.  But who has time?  By the time you fish that thing out baby boy has half emptied his bladder and is just smiling up at you happy as can be.  I just have learned to hurry up and cover it with the diaper.

Potty training is going to be hilarious.  I fully intend to skirt the coming of age questions of why it stands on attention all by itself.  And Jason is going to have to take over all question answering at age 13.  Because, as I imagine the medical records show, this mom has penis paranoia.  Who's with me?

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!

Boy oh boy!!

We hosted a small Bowties or Bows themed party for our closest friends and family on April 6th to find out the sex of Baby P#3.  Our ultrasound tech had written it in an envelope, and we gave that to our friend Lara, who opened it and purchased blue balloons to put in a box I decorated and gave to her.

We asked everyone to "cast their vote" by coming dressed in either blue or pink depending on their guess of the gender.  Emilie and I were pink through and through.  Daddy was half and half and Marin changed her mind to team blue at the last minute.  

At the party we gathered everyone around and the girls and Jason and I opened the box together, revealing the secret to both us and our guests.  Erica took this awesome picture that perfectly captured the moment.  I love it so so so much!  To say I was shocked is a major understatement. 

This was SUCH a fun way to find out the sex.  I even say almost as fun as finding out in the delivery room.  Especially since it was such a shock and a surprise, it was so awesome to look around and see the same shock and surprise and excitement on all of our friends faces and to share that moment with everyone.  So fun!

The rest of the night we reveled in the fact that we are going to have a boy, and there was a lot of back slapping by the guys to Jason.  This strange thing happens when you make a boy, there was a lot of, "You did it man! Congratulations!"  So strange to me.  What is this, China.  I tried to wrap my brain around the whole thing and was in disbelief most of the night and next week.  The girls are so excited to have a baby brother.  And they loved playing in the box the rest of the night.  It was such a festive night.  I wouldn't have changed a single detail.

Many props to Lara and her husband, John, who sweetly bought the balloons, which turned out to be an ordeal.  They decided to test the opening of the box, and the balloons didn't budge.  They then spent way too much time, while they locked their kids in the basement so they wouldn't ruin the surprise.  Needless to say, they cracked the code and figured out the perfect solution to ensure that our back yard was lite up with blue balloons abound!

I loved this celebration and sharing it with our friends.  So much fun!  And a wonderful start to celebrating our precious baby BOY for a lifetime!