Beauty is in the Eye of the Mother...

Being a mother is the most beautiful way I became ugly.

Seriously, aside from the obvious and inevitable weight gain during pregnancy, motherhood comes with a hefty price tag in the looks department. I am the first to admit that becoming a mother is the most wonderful, beautiful expression of ourselves. I, for one, am finding that at least toward other children, I am a more patient and perhaps more understanding person since Marin was born. But let's be real. All that aside, motherhood is a shirt stained, pony tailed, sticky-hand-wiping, six-pesky-pounds-left-to-lose kinda life.

Here are some examples of my own:

-I've mentioned it in posts before; I sometimes wear clothes that are perhaps just a little too snug. Lie. I regularly wear clothes that down right don't fit. Example: last year's jeans leave a little muffin top? Just throw a baggie shirt over the top and viola. Sitting down is a whole other story. Bending over sometimes just doesn't happen. I wish that I had a little sign to wear that explained my larger derriere: "Just had baby. Don't judge." Or better yet: "Please excuse our mess. Recent childbirth survivor."

- Although I refuse to be that mom whose fashion sense stays frozen in the year in which she became a mother; for every hour I spent reading InStyle and Lucky magazines in my pre-baby life, I spend at least three hours reading Parents or Cookie Magazine and What to Expect the First Year. When I was packing for a recent trip I had to make a desperate call to Molly to ask if chandelier earrings were still cool and to settle the score over an internal debate on whether or not I could wear white jeans after labor day.

- I just finished a book where the main character's son goes off to college. As he does, the mother reflects on him as a little child. Cue the ugly cry. I literally had to contain myself from creating a full on scene on the train, at just the thought of Marin going off to college. The girl isn't even old enough to acquire a grass stain, and I already am wiping dripping mascara off my face at the thought of packing our car with a bed-in-a-bag, shower caddy and a wipe off board for her dorm door.

- Make-up on the weekends? Huh? Oh, right. Are people still doing that? I give make-up three and a half minutes Monday-Friday. Five if I have some extra time. But on Saturday and Sunday, unless there is a occasion that necessitates a babysitter- forgetabouit.

- I used to love to shop for clothes in little boutiques that lined my favorite quaint neighborhood streets. I also was known to stalk the J.Crew website for end of the season sales, so I could load up. Now when I boutique browse I find myself skipping right to the children's stores. (And okay, if I'm being truthful, I also have been doing some shopping for our house, because, well, it is big and empty.) But I realized the other day that I haven't bought non-maternity clothes for myself since... wait for it... April of 2008. Whoa. I'd say that Jason should give me some sort of medal of shopping restraint and fiscal responsibility, except that I have actually still been shopping, and, when the items aren't for me, it makes it all the easier to drop things in the cart. Oh, I love baby clothes! :)

-Shaving my legs: Let's just say that I decided to "treat" myself to taking the time to do this the other day and I had completely forgotten how good it feels. I couldn't stop feeling my legs all day. But that's just it. Shaved legs are absolutely a luxury in my current life.

But although the adventures of becoming a mommy might be littered with breast milk leaks on your last clean shirt, squeezing into last years jeans and blotching what little make-up you have time to apply, off your face at the thought of the inevitability of letting your child go; it really is the most beautiful thing in the world when...

- Your baby learns to reach up for you, and does so every morning from her crib.

- You witness your child and her friend laughing, smiling and playing together.

- Your child has even the smallest success in their development.

- Your baby hugs you tightly for comfort when they meet someone new.

And when they bury their little head in your neck when they are tired... even if their face is covered in pureed squash and it means sending your shirt directly to the dry cleaners....

There is just nothing more beautiful than being a mommy.