A letter to John

Dear John John,

You are delicious.  I love you so much.  You have brought us all so many smiles and such love, and have rounded out our family making us truly complete.

Your dad and I marvel at your tiny little features as if we have totally forgotten what its like to have a little hand and five fingers fit completely inside our palms.  You smile constantly and coo and you are easy to fall head of heals in love with.  Your sisters are just as smitten.  They love to hover over you and sing you songs and kiss you and hug you and tell you good morning. They administer their admiration with gusto.  They both want to hold you, and Marin proudly claims to be able to pick you up after I once asked her to "hold" you for a 3 second photo opp.

When I feed you and rock you, you smile up at me like I am the greatest person in the world and I am instantly filled with love.  When you nurse you swing your one arm up and sometimes rest your tiny hand on my nose or mouth.  I kiss it a thousand times when you do.  Then I kiss your forehead and tell you over and over again how much I love you.  And I do.

I wonder often about what you'll do to our dynamic.  You spend A LOT of time already with all girls. You are going to be the worlds best boyfriend/husband.  You make us gals laugh.  When daddy is gone Marin calls it "Mommy and girls and John night".  You are never forgotten, but she's sure not to lop you in as "the girls". :)  I am hoping that you will be sensitive and sweet, teach your sisters to throw a spiral and steer them away from all the jerks in the locker room.  I think your sisters are hoping you'll want to be Flynn Ryder when they play Rapunzel.

I can't wait to watch you grow.  I hope you're never too cool to privately hear how much I love you.  I hope you don't grow tired of my snuggles too quickly.  I hope you always know that I will always be here for you.  That I will never be too busy for you.  That I will always be your mommy, and you will always be my baby- even when you're 16 or 22.  I hope you have lofty goals and I hope you reach most of them.  I hope that when you fail, you will try again.  I hope you chase your passions with gusto.  I hope you will always be a gentleman.  And I hope that you'll always come home to your mama.  :)

Words can never describe how much I love you, John.  But I hope you always know anyway.  I love you as high as the sky and as big as the sun.  And more.

Love,
Mommy